anxious

so we heard last thursday night that rick is finally going to get to interview for the job in DC he's been wanting ever since he heard about it more than a year ago. for the sake of privacy i won't mention the organization here, but if you want more details you can email me.

he goes to DC next tuesday 10/16, will be there for an hour or two, and then will fly home so we can jump in the car and leave on vacation to anna maria island for five days.

which brings me to my second point of anxiety: it is just NOT fun looking forward to going to a beach setting only 8 1/2 weeks after having a baby (your THIRD baby, no less). so i'm trying not to stress out, trying to look forward to just being away from home. it's not working very well. i think i'm driving rick crazy.

which brings me to my third point of anxiety: i started a real diet about 6 days ago. this is the part that is driving rick crazy. i guess lucky for me, i've never really had to "diet." i've always eaten a cookie or two (or three or four) if i wanted one, and i've never cared if i hung on to 5 extra pounds because i was happy eating! but now...good grief. so i keep thinking that after only 6 days (actually i had dramatically high hopes after only two days) i will wake up one morning and my clothes will be so huge i won't be able to wear them.

too bad dieting doesn't work like this if you are doing it the healthy way i guess. but that's the part that's driving rick crazy--me obsessing about what i'm eating, and what the heck i'm going to wear at a beach next week!

all in all, i simply care too much about these things, and even though i've been telling myself for years and years that i shouldn't, the self-talk isn't working much.

so i think it will be good to have somewhere to sort of get away to once rick gets back from his interview. thinking about living in DC is stressful, but after having coffee with a friend last night who has lived there before and listening to her talk about all the exciting things about living there, i'm no longer mortified...just...well, anxious.