disarray

for the two of you wondering where i went, i'm finally coming up for air to blog a little bit. i finished my editing project last night around 10:30. hooray! actually i don't really feel very celebratory because i already have two other projects lined up on my plate, and so it begins again...don't get me wrong, though: i AM thankful to have a job, and to have one i can do from home while i hang out with the littlest one.

the picture at the top is from my daughter's dollhouse. we gave it to her for her 6th birthday in december, but she hasn't had much time to play with it. she's in kindergarten from 8 til 2:15 every day, and then when she gets home her brother is already here, ready and waiting to pounce and start bugging her incessantly until bedtime. they mostly share a room (i recently moved just aedan's bed to a little nook in our office, and we call it his "sleep cave"--it's so cool in there it makes ME want to go in there and hide!), so there's not much space for her to get away. and she's wired like her father in that respect, where she needs alone time every day or she's grouchy, grouchy, grouchy.

so back to the picture: i am posting it today because this is what my house looks like right now (except i'm not sprawled out in bed--doesn't that look tempting right now?!). this is also how i am feeling inside right now. all jumbled up. worried. stressed. and, on a positive note (since after all i did share publicly that i was going to try to stop thinking negatively!), beside myself with excitement as well--one of my best friends karin is coming to visit from boston tomorrow!

i like to think she's coming (with her 8-month-old in tow) because she misses me so much. and i know she does. BUT--there's obviously a big draw to come to FLORIDA when it's so cold up north! we have big plans to go to the pool, the beach, the pool, and did i mention the beach? i just hope the water isn't too cold. my guess is that for most of you reading this, i'm not getting very much sympathy for me thinking about suffering on the beach in 80-degree weather and not being able to brave the "cold" waters of the Gulf of Mexico.

ok, so back to the picture again: my house feels like more of a mess than it really is. i just cannot let things go. i have friends who are willing to leave the dishes sitting overnight on the counter so they can keep socializing when friends are over for dinner. me--i can't do that. it drives me nuts to have to face the mess the next day, so i feel like i might as well take care of it right then.

so today i will be cleaning, doing laundry, trying to get things ready for karin's visit. i'm feeling quite anxious about her little boy crawling around on our hardwood floors, because if you have them and they are not brand new you know that it is almost impossible to make them spic and span--they always have sort of a thin layer of black dirt that you don't notice until you walk around barefoot all day. (please say that's not just my house!)

as for the jumbled-up feelings on the inside, maybe doing the spring cleaning on the outside will help me feel a little more organized internally. i'll let you know.