Sunday, June 22, 2008

trying to keep perspective


lately i have been really stressed out. i have been juggling 4 editing projects (3 of which are over 500 pages), one proofing project, bills due, bugs to take care of, kids sharing a "cubby" in the office and waking up at 6:15 every morning, baby who wants to be fed at 6 am every morning and is cutting a tooth, a dog who has somehow hurt his foot or back leg, weeds overgrowing my garden and no time to go pull them, baby food to make before the other stuff runs out, worries about how none of my clothes seem to fit right now, housework that keeps piling up, friends i want to have over but don't feel like i can because of all the work i have to do...

it's a bit overwhelming, to say the least. i feel inside like the photo: trying to look beyond this, but it's too blurry, and even then i'm afraid it's just going to be more rain. i want sunny skies in my life, no more rain for a while; i want clarity, confidence, assurance, perspective. i don't want to go down the dark road; i want to skip down the sunny one.

i am doing okay, hanging on, remembering all the things i have been told in encouragement in months past. and i am thankful for the piles of work, for they provide for us at the moment. i am grateful for 2 older kids who somehow have grown up right under my nose without me realizing it (okay i'm grateful and stressed about THAT!). i'm grateful for a baby i can snuggle with. i'm grateful for a husband who has been cooking amazing gourmet meals every night, cleaning, doing laundry, playing with the kids. i'm grateful for friends who force me to come out for a girls' night when i really didn't want to because i had a very traumatic experience finding something to wear and then bawling all the way to the restaurant.

for me, right now, NOT living life one moment at a time is a good thing. it helps me keep perspective, helps me see that i won't always be this stressed, that things will change. now, bring on the sunshine!

3 comments:

amy said...

great use of the photo to describe your feelings. it is definitely a familiar feeling. here's to more sunshine coming your way...

Pixie said...

You sound like you have been growing in this. There is more gratitude and hope than I have seen in previous posts. I don't know if it feels any different to you but that was my impression after reading.

asti said...

Chin up Kristi......you're going a GREAT job :)