sorry i've disappeared from here for a while. (probably just long enough for friends and family to stop reading...)
i'm trying to stay positive, but let's just say that life is kind of tough right now. it goes in waves, as i'm sure you know, and there are some definite shiny spots. but i have a tendency to just really embrace the darkness and allow myself to get swallowed up in self-pity, and that just paralyzes me.
so you would think after 30-something years i would learn to run, run, run from this pessimism, but i just don't learn. do you have anything like that? i'm sure everyone struggles with one thing or another like this. so this is my cross to bear, so to speak. (oh, i really hate that analogy; i should go back and delete it, but i want to just get through this post and finish watching "bridget jones's diary" on tivo.)
to force myself to look up instead of down the black hole that beckons me, here are some things i can celebrate right now:
1. my kids are all healthy.
2. i have a roof over my head and a car that hasn't broken down just yet (okay, that was on the verge of looking down vs. up, but just give me some slack; i'm trying...)
3. i have lost another 10 pounds in the last 3 weeks, and i have just 10 more to go before rhys's birthday to meet my goal of being back to "normal" before he turns 2.
4. i had a great talk with my mom the other night.
5. i am growing tomatoes in pots on the porch, and the plants are gigantic and full of blossoms that hopefully will soon be bearing fruit.
6. rick will be off for a week toward the end of june to hang out with us. yay!
7. "the hangover" is the funniest movie i have EVER seen. (also one of the most vulgar, so beware if you are easily offended...)
8. my orchids have been blooming for about 4 straight months.
9. i attended a rain barrel workshop and got a certificate for a free rain barrel. of course, i have not picked it up yet, but i am excited about getting it for free.
10. we signed the kids up for swim lessons at our community pool, and for the 2 of them it cost only $38. TOTAL.
things could be much, much worse, and in fact they have been (as documented on this very blog). so here's to looking up...
p.s. if you haven't seen "Up," you should see it too. it made me feel very melancholy, but it was visually stunning.