bowl of goodness

on a day when i am struggling to keep my lenten promise to myself of fasting from negative thoughts, i am trying to find goodness in the little things.

the weekend in pictures

here are some photos from our long weekend. locations include the pond by our house, around ybor city, and picnic park (and one random picture of a frozen peanut butter pie i made for our community group sunday). hooray for presidents (well, most of them anyway...)!

and now it's time to get serious about finishing this project. to help me: a good cup of coffee.

ode to st. valentine

st. valentine, for various reasons i have rejected you over the years of my life--first as an awkward teenager who never had a date on your day, never got those special candies or flowers that were sold at school in honor of you (actually i think they were sold to make money for the boosters, but they used your name for it!); and then as an adult grew cynical (thanks to pressure from my hubby) about your day just being a big marketing ploy all about making money and not really much about celebrating love.

this year's valentine's day was different though. it wasn't your typical advertised mushy valentine's day--my husband and i didn't have a date (we will get one tonight instead--thanks angie & warren!) or fancy dinner for two. instead, the day was filled with these things, and together they made them sweeter than any other valentine's day i can remember in a long time:

1. here is gillian in her pjs filling out her own valentine's day cards for her class (notice how she is lining them all up--anal like her mom!):

2. farm fresh eggs, which we drove about 45 minutes to buy yesterday:

3. because we made the trip way out into the country for the fresh eggs, we passed THIS sign:

4. which made me go, "turn the car around!" and so we went back and bought these (for $10 total, in case you didn't notice the sign above--can you believe it?!!):

5. and then last night i attended my first ever elementary school dance, where my daughter acted exactly like i acted at these things when i was little--a wallflower. she wouldn't budge from her chair, even when coaxed by friends to get on the dancefloor and do the chicken or the hokey pokey. i didn't bring my camera inside and then kept kicking myself the entire time, because i could use up 3 blog postings just writing about everything i observed at this dance: 5th-grade boys breakdancing (one slightly pudgy one with sunglasses and a sideways hat--straight out of a Judy Blume book); kindergarten girls (like my daughter) afraid to leave their seats; 3rd-grade girls "sort of dancing" in huge groups but mostly talking and laughing and pointing (boy crazy it seemed to me...i remember those days!).

but the best part for me (and the scariest, simultaneously) was our encounter with a boy named alex, who is in gillian's class. he was wearing a vest (yes, a 5-year-old wearing a vest, hilarious!), white long-sleeved button-down shirt, black pants, and airwalk sneakers. he had a bowl cut, which showed off his sparkly eyes. and he kept coming up to gillian (as in, WOULD NOT LEAVE HER ALONE) and sitting next to her and trying to dance in front of her. really, for the entire hour we were there he did this over and over. his main dance move was running and then sliding onto his knees across the floor (think risky business). i guess he thought this would impress gillian. instead, she mostly scowled, with a beet-red face, the entire time. several times, though, he was so persistent that he managed to make her giggle.

so i watched this with much amusement and a little horror as well, knowing in the back of my mind that one day this will all be for real, and gillian won't be scowling, she'll be enjoying the attention, and THEN it won't be quite so amusing...

so in all, st. valentine, it was a fabulous day--here's to you!

time to wake up

i have been sleepless for a while now. it's to be expected: i have 3 kids, one of whom is 6 months and teething like a madman. my oldest two got their first 4 teeth all within a matter of days, and it seems that rhys will be no exception.


because of lack of sleep, i have had a ton of trouble finding any motivation or concentration to sit down to edit this book. it's over a thousand pages, and my deadline is looming, but i just can't seem to get on the ball with it.

instead of working, i'm finding lots of other things to do to fill my time: cleaning my house, doing laundry, and taking these photos in our backyard this morning. anything to keep from working!

i can't take a photo that does justice to this spiderweb; these little guys are all over our backyard, and we are grateful because we are hoping they keep the mosquitoes somewhat at bay (yes, in case you have missed previous posts, we DO have these little pests all year long). this particular web spans about 8 feet altogether.

i have also been fascinated by the clothespins strung across my backyard for the past few days--photographing them, that is; unfortunately i haven't been motivated to hang my laundry out to dry.

yesterday, when gillian got home from school, we all went outside to soak up the sun because we have a 70% chance of rain today with cooler weather on the way (i know, i know--not nearly as cool as most of the people who read this blog!).

sunny florida morning

the boys and me

flickr

i know, i'm completely behind the times on Web stuff, but i have my age to blame...

i saw a cool flickr tool on some other websites, so i decided to add it to mine. now for my friends and family who don't have facebook, you can can just click on the rotating pics under "blogs i read when i have time" and check out the latest pictures of our family.

for now, i haven't had time to put any recent pics up, but i will update them soon.

in the meantime, i haven't posted much because i'm editing a monster of a book (both in length and content) and haven't had time to do much else. so stay tuned...

hopscotch in january

today it was so warm it felt like spring (isn't it always a perpetual state of spring or blazing hot summer here though?). the windows in our house are all sealed shut except for 3, so i had 2 of them open with window fans going to get the musty smell out and the good air in.

lately even the warm days have been muggy, and i've complained. i mean, come ON. it's winter. the kids are still confused about why it's so hot here when it is snowing everywhere else.

but today was one of those perfect weather days. so we took advantage of it on the front porch and sidewalk--that is, until the mosquitoes started swarming. yes, we have mosquitoes year round here, which pretty much ruins any nice weather we are having because they send us running indoors after about 20 minutes of play. just long enough to take these great photos of the kids.

xmas pjs

here is a photo of the kids christmas eve in their pjs...for the one minute they sat still in between eating tons of sugar and running around like crazy people.

gillian's tea party gone wild

to celebrate her birthday this year, gillian had a choice: she could either go to seaworld or have a party with friends. she didn't skip a beat: "a party! i will get more presents!" that's my girl...

she chose 5 friends to invite: 3 new and 2 old (from preschool the years before). i was getting worried when by the day before the party i hadn't heard from any of the moms yet, but sure enough, 2 little girls from gillian's kindergarten class came; one was dropped off by her dad and he didn't stay "because boys aren't allowed," and the other little girl's mom stayed for the duration of the ensuing horror. in addition, two of my friends came to offer their support, as well as rick's mom (who didn't really offer support--at one point early in the party i overheard her detailing the events of her mother's and little sister's deaths 70 years ago).

i baked cupcakes from scratch that morning and set out the china so the girls could use real teacups. i had been inspired by my friend shannon's cupcakes (if you live anywhere near austin you should buy some from her). she even tracked down a cake place in town where i got the little flowers to put on top. AND i even ventured out to use food coloring, something i never take time to do. here's a picture of how they turned out.

when guests arrived, they munched on celery and carrots while i made a yummy recipe from the december issue of cooking light--sandwiches with peanut butter, honey, chocolate chips, strawberries, and bananas. i thought, "how could these NOT be loved by little girls? they are just like dessert!"

i knew the party wasn't going to go well for me, though, when i served the sandwiches and all three girls turned their noses up--of course my precious child led the way with the not-so-sensitive declaration, "mom, i do NOT like these sandwiches. i want a regular peanut butter and jelly." so then her friends of course did NOT like the sandwiches and wanted something different too.

after i served those up and they tested me on whether they were going to eat round 2 or not, i told them they couldn't have cupcakes unless they ate their lunch. is that so bitchy? i felt like it was, but then again, i wasn't wanting to be a short-order cook for the entire two hours of the party.

next, the cupcakes were served. i was so excited to see the girls tearing into these things i had really labored over. not a chance. gillian took one bite and declared, "mom, i don't like these cupcakes. the icing does NOT taste good." then of course her friends thought exactly the same thing. so i gave up and told them they could get down and go dress up some more.

the rest of the party it took all my energy just to keep it together emotionally. i was mad at gillian, but then i knew in my head that she IS only 6, but then i just felt sorry for myself because i had worked so hard for this and i wanted praise, thanks, "mom you are SO great!"

i guess the lesson is not to expect those things from your kids or you will constantly be disappointed. the truth is that she had a fabulous time dressing up, giggling with her friends, opening her presents, and eating tons of celery and carrots (who knew this would be the day my daughter decided to be healthy??). so i should be grateful. this brings me to another quandry regarding parenthood: it really involves giving away all of yourself, completely selflessness, and there's no guarantee that you are going to get anything in return. that is some serious stuff that no one tells you before you enter this wild roller coaster ride.

here are some photos that show just how much fun she had.

aedan's school christmas performance

today was aedan's christmas performance at preschool. his teacher has been trying to get him to try to control his talking during class, so she promised him that if he could keep it together and obey her, he could be rudolph (along with another little boy) during the singalong.

his teacher has been telling me for a couple of weeks now that he is the loudest singer in the class. so when you watch the video and see him looking dazed and confused, i think it's because the nose is blinking between his eyes and the crowd sort of overwhelms him.

enjoy!

gillian's big day

yesterday gillian turned 6. i have heard countless people tell me over the years how they couldn't believe how fast i grew, or how the time flies when you have kids and you wonder where the years went. i usually internally roll my eyes at this, because it seems so cliche to say it. yesterday though, i found myself feeling the exact same way when i looked at gillian. she was born only 6 short years ago. she was so tiny and fragile, cried all the time (and i mean ALL), and wanted to be held constantly.

now she is on her way to becoming a very lovely, well-adjusted, and independent young woman, which is very weird for me. i was talking to rick the other day about how i don't like it that we have these babies that we immediately have to start working toward giving up--concretely and emotionally--so they can become the adults they need to be someday. if i am too codependent, too needy, that won't help my children grow into themselves.

but i don't like it. i have small moments where i think, "is having kids really worth it?" and i say this because it makes me sad to think about letting go. i don't want to let go. i see why mothers smother their children.* it's easier than doing the right thing.

so enough sad talk: yesterday gillian had a blast with various special moments sprinkled throughout the day. first thing in the morning, she had a sprinkle donut with a candle, and aedan gave her his present from the Sanrio store. (incidentally, i picked out his present because once we got to the mall he just wanted to go to the playground and said "mom, you pick it out." gotta love boys...)

then after school, she got to see what her gram and gramps (my parents) sent her for her birthday: dollhouse furniture that my sister and i played with when we were kids. it will go inside the dollhouse we ordered her that just hasn't arrived yet.

marley had to be a part of the unwrapping because my parents have dogs and he could smell them. plus i think he thinks when anything special is going on, somehow it's about HIM. here are some more close-ups of the loot--it's just as cool as i remember.

after all the unwrapping and trying to be sure aedan didn't damage anything while he was running around and in and out of the pile of furniture (which prompted us to quickly pack everything up to get it away from the tasmanian devil), we went to a paint-your-own pottery place and let the kids experience that for the first time, which was quite interesting. gillian was confused because she thought she was going to MAKE her own pottery too. what an ambitious little girl she can be at times.

i think the highlight of gillian's big day, though, came that morning when she was biting into her donut and lost her third baby tooth. so last night she wrote a letter to the tooth fairy and also made her request known that this time she would like money, not a toy. apparently the tooth fairy was listening, because she woke up at 2 a.m. to find a dollar bill under her pillow. then she woke up aedan to show him. then they both got up and woke me up, and that woke up rhys, who then decided he needed a midnight snack...all in all it was a wonderful day, and we'll celebrate again on sunday with a tea party birthday with 5 of her friends plus nana (rick's mom). i'll be sure to post pictures next week, as i'm sure they'll be great!

*my sister, the counselor, pointed out to me that this might sound like i mean literally smothering my children. no need to call DSS anytime soon--i just mean smothering in the emotional sense so they will never want to leave me... :)